


The Talk

by MyChemicalRachel



Series: Victuri and Son [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Asexual Yuri Plisetsky, But they're one big happy family, Katsuki Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov are Yuri Plisetsky's Parents, M/M, Not legally, Victuri and son, or biologically, they give Yurio The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9837158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyChemicalRachel/pseuds/MyChemicalRachel
Summary: Yuri and Victor decide it's time to give Yurio The Talk™.





	

Yurio knew it was serious when Yuri and Victor asked him to sit down. He could tell something was wrong by the way Yuri fidgeted. Never one for stillness, his usual restlessness was amplified. Like he couldn’t physically sit still. When Victor reaches over to still Yuri’s tapping fingers, Yuri’s leg begins bouncing instead. That’s when Victor sighs.

“Yurio,” he says slowly. A frown furrows between his eyes, mouth twisting into a grimace. “Your balls are going to drop and you’re going to grow hair.”

Yuri and Yurio gape at him with identical strawberry faces.

Yuri sputters, throwing his hands in the air. “No, no! That’s not--” He pauses to throw a _what the hell_ expression in Victor’s direction. It would probably be comical if Yurio weren’t freaking the fuck out. Because _what_? “That’s not what Victor meant.”

“Balls will drop,” Victor repeats. “Hair will grow. That’s exactly what I meant.”

“Well, you could say it a little more… _gently_!” Yuri shakes his head, turning back to Yurio. “What Victor means to say is, your body is going to be going through some changes. We wanted to make sure you know what to expect.”

“Puberty,” Victor whispers.

Yurio shrinks back into the couch, trying to disappear against the cushions.

“It’s normal,” Yuri hurries on. “Totally normal. Victor and I both went through the same thing! My parents had the talk with me, Yakov had the talk with Victor. And now that you’re getting older, we thought maybe we should have the talk with you.”

Yurio bites his tongue a little too hard. Maybe he should remind them that he’s fifteen. He already knows The Talk™, but he can’t seem to find words. What would he say? So he clears his throat awkwardly and tries to extricate himself as delicately as possible from the situation. “That’s... um… cool. Oh look--” he pats his pockets until he finds his cell phone. “My phone. It’s ringing. On silent. Vibrate. _Bzzz…_. I forgot, I need to go… to Beka… who’s waiting for me.”

He slides off the couch and has taken only a step before Victor says, “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Otabek recently.” Yurio can hear the stupid smile in his stupid voice, and he’s insinuating something, so Yurio stops.

He turns back slowly and frowns. “What about it, old man?”

Victor shakes his head. He’s doing a poor job at masking his smile. He shrugs. “You like Otabek.”

“He’s my friend,” Yurio says defensively.

Yuri smiles. “What Victor means is, sometimes when you’re around someone a lot you can start… _liking_ them. In other ways.”

“Sex ways,” Victor states. “Like, how I like Yuri.”

Yurio gasps, tripping over his own feet in an involuntary step away. He does not want to hear about Yuri and Victor doing… _that_!

“It’s totally normal,” Yuri says for the second time. “You can develop sexual feelings, you can start to feel urges, and you need to know that it’s okay to act on these feelings. You just need to be careful, take precautions.”

“Condoms,” Victor explains. “And lubricant. Lots and lots of lube.”

“Eww!” Yurio stumbles back, but his legs get twisted again and he ends up sprawled back on the couch. “Just stop fucking talking!”

Surprisingly, they do. The room becomes quiet as Yurio takes a deep breath and rights himself on the sofa. “You two are disgusting!”

Victor frowns, then his eyes light up and he beams at Yurio. “You’re not having sex with Otabek.”

“Eww no!”

“Because you like vagina!”

Yurio shrieks and stands up on the couch, covering his ears with both hands. “Stop! Eww! Stop talking!”

“It’s okay, Yurio!” Yuri reaches out, trying to calm the younger man. “It’s okay!”

“No, tell Victor to stop talking!”

Yuri places a hand over his husband’s mouth. “There, he’s done talking!”

Slowly, Yurio releases his hold on his ears.

“Good. Now, can you not stand on the furniture?”

Yurio climbs down, watching Victor warily as he sits.

“Okay,” Yuri sighs. “You don’t like the word va--”

Yurio inhales sharply, looking prepared to trample the sofa again, so Yuri cuts himself off.

“--that word. That’s fine. But if you like… _that body part_ … that’s okay. And it’s okay to like penises.”

Yurio leaps onto the couch again. “Stop fucking talking, holy shit!”

Yuri facepalms. “Okay, fine. You don’t like the words.”

“I don’t like the fucking body parts either, shithead!” Yurio yells. “I’m asexual! I’m dating Otabek, not sleeping with him!”

Victor’s face slowly morphs into a grin. “You’re dating him?”

“You never told us you were dating him!” Yuri accuses. He looks appalled. “How come you never introduced us?”

“Introduced you? You know him!”

“Well, yeah,” Yuri rolls his eyes. “But you never introduced him as your boyfriend.”

“Invite him over,” Victor commands. “It’s time he met your parents.”

“You’re not my parents,” Yurio states.

Yuri smacks his arm. “Don’t use that tone of voice with your father.”

Yurio sighs, but sends a text off to Otabek, informing him that his presence is required at dinner tonight. Sure, they’ll probably threaten his boyfriend and ask too many probing questions, but Yurio is just grateful they’re done with the sex talk, at least for now.


End file.
